Learning How to Network

Networking

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” 
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

For the past year or so I have found myself wanting to become introverted. Before my mission, I was very outgoing and chipper; however, for one reason or another, coming home made me introvert and lose some of my own identity. 

This is not good from a business standpoint. I love accounting, but I don't want to be that guy sitting in a corner with a green visor, punching numbers all day not ever talking to anyone. In fact, I do not see myself as being an accountant for the rest of my life. I had skills to do other things, go elsewhere; and ultimately, I want to make a difference in this world.

Recently, while wishing I could change my mannerisms, I came upon the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People", by Dale Carnegie. From the first chapter I was hooked, and it has begun to change my life. It opened my eyes to the beauty of talking to others and how this can fit into the networking world of business.

Dale Carnegie

There are three things that have been a main take-away from this book about networking. Here are those three things:

          1. Always focus on others,

          2. Everyone wants to feel important, and

          3. Always be sincere

Sounds like being a good friend doesn't it? Well that is the essence of networking. I think that too many people focus on, "What can others do for me?" when they want to network instead of, "What can I do for others." The latter is the most important question, because if we keep trying to get others to help us and never help in return, then we will become a nagging fly on the wall, always wanting something. 

Dale Carnegie wrote, “Talk to someone about themselves and they'll listen for hours.” This I am finding to be the key to networking. Stop focusing on yourself, and focus on them. They will love to talk your ear off, and not only will you fain a network, but you will gain a friend.

As a last note, don't drop someone just because they didn't help you. Networking must be more than yourself. The beauty of networking is that it builds friendships. Friendships last a life-time. The best skill someone could develop is how to make others like them and how to make others feel important, then to always stay in contact.

Networking is a skill, developed in love. In essence, it is friendship.

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BEARDS FOR BYU... Maybe.

Gimli?

Throughout the last year I have noticed that many of the students at BYU want to wear their beards. They understand that the honor code at BYU is strict, yet there is a lot of protest to that (see Beards for BYU on Facebook). Students throughout BYU are surely thinking about the possibility of beards being brought back to BYU, but no one knows for sure.

The real question is, why are beads banned from BYU? Beards were banned somewhere in the 1960's because of the counter-culture that was appearing. Longer hairstyles and beards were big, and the school administration did not see this as a good thing. So, beards were banned. Yet with a school that is professed to live the standards of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, then why the beards?

From Pinterest

First observation. Beards cannot be worn by temple workers. Second, General authorities cannot have beards. Third, full-time missionaries must be clean shaven. What do all of these people have in common? They represent the Lord. I find it very interesting that anyone in a position to represent the Savior must be clean shaven. Why is that? Is it because the Savior is clean shaven?

I cannot say a thing about that last question, but the answer to this came from Brother Brau's class in Finance 201. The reason why we don't wear beards is to not distract from out purpose of pointing others to Him. Now, I am not saying that this is true for all people, but I ask the reader to look inside him or herself and ask, "When others see me, do they think more of Him or of me? Do I glorify God, or myself?" 

"Ye are the light of the world," (St. Matthew 5:14) Christ taught. So if we are a light to the world, what light to we emulate? This has nothing to do anymore with just beards, but everything that we do. The way we speak, the way we treat others, and even ourselves. Do we reflect the Lord Savior in all that we do and are? 

This is much bigger than having beards or not, it is whether we are we willing to remember Him in all that we do. I have learned this lesson this week, and I hope that it is some inspiration to whoever is reading it. I wish to try my best to live up to the standards that I set for myself, so that I may be worthy of Him.

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It's Time to Accept Failure

The Rolling Stones may just have had it right with their hit song, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" (Click Here for SoundClip) A title that demonstrates the frustrations of life. It shows the difficulties faced by the human race that act with more than instinct, but with desire.

I have many things that I want. Money, good job, wife, be accepted into the Accounting program at BYU, etc. These are only a beginning of a never ending list of wants and desires. However, life doesn't always play out how we want it to. Something that I am learning to cope with is to accept failure. 

What is Failure?

Failure consists of two points: one is from a lack or inability to perform; i.e., trying to ice-skate but failing. The other, is completely separate from what we do; it is when outside forces cause a failed situation; i.e., the stock market crashes and you loose money (a big failure, but it was based on something that was out of your control). Now, the later may be better than the first, but most of the time when one fails they will ask him or herself, "what if". These "what if" questions stem from the failure and usually go as follows, "What if I had studied more?", or "What if I had sold my stock earlier?" These "What if" questions are dangerous and should be avoided.

I failed this week, I had a big test, an important test, and I did not do well. It hurt me because I felt I had adequately prepared; I also felt pretty good walking out of the testing center to go see my score. However, once I saw the score on the screen my hopes dropped and so did my demeanor. I was crushed. This happens to many people, and there is only one thing to do after a failure like this, move on.

It's Time to Accept Failure

Failure, when it has already happened, needs to be accepted. At the point of failure there is no return, and we must learn to say, "That's okay". Life isn't about to end. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Edison had the right idea, to take what was given then find another way. When failure enters our lives we mustn't think that it is the end of the road, but look for another road that will lead to success. Barak Obama, when he ran against Bobby Rush for congress he got his “rear end handed to [him].” (NY Times) But if we look at Obama now he is the President of the United States.

This is my call to action, to face defeat with an attitude of optimism. When failure happens it is not the end of the road, and I wish to see myself rise above it. Many of the most successful people in the world had faced failure. We have only failed when we have given up. 

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